The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — santa

🎁 Someone mixed up Santa’s final shipment tags, and now chaos reigns supreme. A toolbox went to a toddler, a dollhouse to a construction site, and one elf swears his Amazon order was rerouted to “The Naughty Department.

🍪 Mrs. Claus finally snapped. After weeks of chaos, she’s weaponized the kitchen — debuting her “Revenge Cookies (Limited Edition).” Rumor says they’re sprinkled with regret … and just a hint of justice.

💌 Someone leaked the anonymous “Dear Santa” inbox — and it’s pure chaos. Turns out, half the elves have been using it as a confessional. The other half? As a complaint line. Santa’s lawyers are on eggnog-level alert.

🍫 Chaos hit the North Pole when the cocoa machine sputtered its last drop. Elves are in mourning, HR declared a “hot beverage emergency,” and Santa’s been spotted sipping tea. TEA. Civilization is collapsing.

🧵 The runway’s cold, the glitter’s settled, and the elves are still talking about it. HR says they’re “processing,” but everyone else is screenshotting group-chat receipts. Welcome to post-fashion-show fallout season.