The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — santa

🧣 What was supposed to be a “wholesome holiday showcase” turned into a full-blown runway meltdown. Feathers flew, sequins scattered, and one elf walked out in tears because someone called her sweater “emotionally cluttered.

☃️ Frosty lawyered up — again. Apparently, the elves used his likeness for “limited edition slush mugs” without his consent. He’s suing for emotional distress and the return of his hat. Honestly? I’d sue too.

🎁 What started as a wholesome office tradition turned into a North Pole HR nightmare. Someone “accidentally” gifted Santa a stress ball that says ‘Do Less, Delegate More.’ Let’s just say… investigations are underway.

🦌 The reindeer called it “self-care.” Santa called it “embezzlement.” Either way, the North Pole’s furriest divas just charged a full spa day to the sleigh maintenance budget — and the elves are not having it.

🔥 The “safety drill” turned into a full-blown emergency when elves mistook smoke for s’mores. No one burned — except our pride (and one tinsel cart).