🎄 Day 35 — The Reindeer Spa Day Scandal

The reindeer “union” decided to take a wellness day. Spoiler: it wasn’t approved. 🧖‍♀️🦌

Dasher claimed they needed “mental clarity before flight season.” What they needed was accountability — and maybe fewer oat milk facials.

💸 Expense Report from Hell

The invoice hit Accounting this morning: twelve aromatherapy sessions, eight peppermint mud baths, and one “hoof massage deluxe.” Total: 14,600 candy credits. Rudolph says, “Worth it.” I say, “That’s my coffee budget for the year.”

🦌 Diva Demands

Blitzen refuses to pull the sleigh unless the “stall ambiance” matches his “inner glow.” Prancer brought a vision board. This isn’t a stable — it’s a lifestyle brand.

🎅 Santa’s Response

Santa tried to stay calm, but when he saw “Reindeer Detox Retreat” listed under “maintenance,” he nearly choked on his cocoa. He’s calling it “Sleigh-Gate.” I’m calling it karma for cutting our cocoa rations.

In other news, the reindeer are glowing. Literally — the peppermint oil seeped into their fur. The workshop smells like Bath & Body Works and regret.

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Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝‍♀️