The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — shop

Today the bachelor squad finally tries to leave the Misfit Realm—but the realm has other plans. The portal spits them out repeatedly like expired candy, the toys offer zero help, and Glitterbeard refuses to take the hint.

🍫 Chaos hit the North Pole when the cocoa machine sputtered its last drop. Elves are in mourning, HR declared a “hot beverage emergency,” and Santa’s been spotted sipping tea. TEA. Civilization is collapsing.

🦌 The reindeer called it “self-care.” Santa called it “embezzlement.” Either way, the North Pole’s furriest divas just charged a full spa day to the sleigh maintenance budget — and the elves are not having it.