The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — santa

💤 The elves have officially turned exhaustion into a sport. With deadlines closing in, they’ve launched the first-ever Sleep Deprivation Olympics. Categories include “Most Consecutive Hours Awake,” “Fastest Nap,” and “Best Emotional Breakdown

🦌 The Reindeer Union just announced “strict flight boundaries” — meaning no overtime, no late deliveries, and absolutely no night flights without cocoa breaks. Santa calls it mutiny. The reindeer call it “work-life balance

🎯 The official Christmas Countdown Clock stopped this morning — and the entire North Pole collectively panicked. Productivity froze, cocoa intake doubled, and one elf tried to “reboot time” by unplugging the tree.

🍭 The Candy Cane Cartel isn’t taking the “Sweet Strike” lightly. After the elves switched to peppermint-free cocoa, the cartel clapped back with price hikes, product shortages, and one threatening note written entirely in crushed candy.

🕵️♀️ Late-night cocoa drinkers spotted something suspicious — a group of elves meeting after hours in the wrapping room. They call themselves The Silent Sleigh Society. No one knows their agenda, but rumor says… it’s petty.