🥂 Day 65 — The Bachelorette Sleigh Ride

Sixteen days until the wedding, and the bachelorette sleigh ride has already been declared “a minor incident with major emotional fallout.” 💅🛷

Sparkles wanted a classy night with her closest friends. What she got was a sleigh full of unhinged elves, a reindeer with commitment issues, and a snowbank that still hasn’t recovered.

🛷 Disaster #1 – The Champagne Cannon

Pep loaded a “celebratory champagne popper” onto the sleigh. It went off at the wrong angle, launching a cork into Donner’s antlers. Donner panicked, zigzagged through the sky, and the sleigh nearly did a backflip. Sparkles spilled her entire glow-in-the-dark cocoa.

🥂 Disaster #2 – The Missing Shoe Mystery

Halfway through the flight, someone screamed, “Where is my SHOEEEE?!” A search party was organized midair. The shoe was later found on top of Santa’s Post Office, still steaming. HR refuses to explain why.

🦌 Disaster #3 – The Reindeer Revolt

After the champagne cannon incident, Blitzen refused to continue the route. He parked himself in a snowbank and filed an official complaint titled, “I Am Not An Uber.” The rest of the sleigh ride was completed manually by elves pushing uphill.

Sixteen days left, and Sparkles is now “emotionally exhausted but spiritually sparkly.” The good news? The shoe was recovered. The bad news? The emotional damage was not. 🥂✨

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Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝‍♀️