🦌 Day 64 — Reindeer Ring Bearer Training Gone Wrong

Seventeen days until the wedding, and the reindeer have officially staged a walkout — literally. 💍🦌

Sparkles insisted on “the most magical ring bearer entrance ever.” So naturally, she chose reindeer. So naturally… nothing went according to plan.

🎁 Rehearsal Disaster #1 – The Bowtie Rebellion

Donner refused to wear his gold bowtie, claiming it clashed with his winter coat. Cupid ate his bowtie. Vixen tried to steal someone else’s bowtie. By the time the whistle blew, there were zero bowties and one emotional support carrot.

🦌 Rehearsal Disaster #2 – The Runway Malfunction

The reindeer were supposed to walk calmly down the aisle. Instead, Rudolph saw his reflection in an ornament and panicked. Blitzen charged the snack table. Dasher dashed — obviously. The aisle runner is now considered a “total loss.”

🎅 Santa’s Emergency Meeting

Santa called a mandatory meeting titled “A Calm Reindeer Is a Cooperative Reindeer.” The reindeer union responded with their own memo titled “No.” Negotiations are ongoing.

Seventeen days left, three broken sleigh bells, and zero reindeer qualified to carry a ring. At this point, Sparkles might need to ask the Nutcracker — assuming he ever blinks again. 🦌💍

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Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝‍♀️