🦌 Day 57 — The Sleigh Ride Ghosting

You know it’s bad when the reindeer refuse to talk about it. 💅❄️

Last night’s “romantic sleigh ride” ended in what the tabloids are calling *The Great Midair Breakup.* The couple hasn’t spoken since — mostly because one of them parachuted off using a decorative tinsel scarf. 💔✨

🎁 The Setup

He planned the date perfectly: moonlight, cocoa thermoses, and a sleigh full of questionable intentions. She said she wanted “adventure.” Apparently, that didn’t include turbulence or unsolicited Christmas caroling mid-flight.

🪂 The Jump Heard ‘Round the Pole

Halfway through the ride, she unbuckled, shouted, “I need space,” and leapt. Witnesses say she landed gracefully in a snowbank near Reindeer Row, leaving behind a note that said, > “It’s not you — it’s your reindeer management style.” Legendary exit energy.

🎅 Santa’s Official Comment

Santa told reporters, “We do not condone mid-flight emotional decisions.” Meanwhile, Mrs. Claus whispered, “I told her to trust her instincts.” Blitzen’s still in therapy.

The workshop’s gossip mill hasn’t stopped jingling since. “Mistletoe & Mayhem” dating app downloads just spiked again — because apparently no one learns from anyone else’s mistakes. 🦌💔

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Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝‍♀️