💋 Day 55 — Mistletoe & Mayhem Returns: Elf Dating Disasters

Guess who’s back, back again — the app no one asked for but everyone’s secretly using. 💄📱

After HR’s “temporary suspension,” *Mistletoe & Mayhem* relaunched this week with “improved compatibility settings.” Translation: the chaos now loads faster. And you know I’ve got the tea. ☕💅

🎁 Date #1 – The Cocoa Catastrophe

Pep took Sparkles out for “cocoa and conversation.” Five minutes in, his marshmallow caught fire, she screamed “red flag,” and they both fell into the cocoa fountain. They’re now trending on ElfTok under #HotChocolateMess.

🦌 Date #2 – The Sleigh Ride Ghosting

An anonymous elf (but we all know who) planned a moonlit sleigh ride. Halfway through, his date “needed air” and parachuted out using tinsel as a safety line. She later texted: “It’s not you, it’s your reindeer management style.” Brutal.

🧸 Date #3 – The Nutcracker Situation

Remember that elf who matched with a nutcracker last time? Yeah, she did it again. He said he’d “changed,” but guess what — still wooden, still emotionally unavailable. Therapy for everyone.

💬 Rumor Mill Update

There’s talk of “long-distance matches” showing up again — profiles that don’t belong to any registered elf. HR swears it’s a glitch, but I saw one username that said *“MisfitInTheMountains.”* Looks like the Land of Petty Misfits might be swiping north soon… 👀

So yeah, the app’s back, the elves are messy, and romance is dying faster than the office poinsettias. As for me? I’m staying logged out and tuned in — for research purposes only. 💋✨

---

Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝♀️