The Petty Elf Daily
North Pole’s #1 Source for Petty News • Daily Dispatch
☕ Day 56 — The Cocoa Catastrophe
It started as a date. It ended as a health-and-safety training video. 💅🔥
When Pep invited Sparkles out for “cocoa and conversation,” no one expected it to end in a marshmallow inferno. The breakroom is still closed for cleaning, and HR has officially banned open flames during romantic gestures.
🍫 Scene of the Spill
Witnesses say Pep tried to impress Sparkles by crafting a cocoa art heart using whipped cream and cinnamon dust. Then he leaned too close to the candle centerpiece — and *poof.* The marshmallow combusted like it had unresolved trauma.
🎥 Viral Moment
Someone recorded the chaos and uploaded it to ElfTok with the caption, *“Hot Chocolate Energy.”* It hit 1.2 million views overnight. Now the fire department uses it in their safety presentation titled *“Love, but Flammable.”*
💬 Aftermath & Gossip
Sparkles told coworkers she’s “taking a break from hot beverages and dating.” Pep insists it was “chemistry.” HR insists it was “arson, technically.” Either way, the breakroom smells like scorched peppermint and regret.
They say love is a battlefield — at the North Pole, it’s apparently a cocoa crime scene. As for me? I’ll be drinking mine iced, from a safe distance. ☕💔
Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝♀️