The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — christmas sweaters

🦌 The Reindeer Union just announced “strict flight boundaries” — meaning no overtime, no late deliveries, and absolutely no night flights without cocoa breaks. Santa calls it mutiny. The reindeer call it “work-life balance

🛠️ What was supposed to be a “routine midnight sleigh test” turned into the North Pole’s loudest oops of the season. Two reindeer are in therapy, Santa’s insurance premium skyrocketed, and the sleigh’s GPS is still saying “recalculating"

🎯 The official Christmas Countdown Clock stopped this morning — and the entire North Pole collectively panicked. Productivity froze, cocoa intake doubled, and one elf tried to “reboot time” by unplugging the tree.

🍭 The Candy Cane Cartel isn’t taking the “Sweet Strike” lightly. After the elves switched to peppermint-free cocoa, the cartel clapped back with price hikes, product shortages, and one threatening note written entirely in crushed candy.

🕵️♀️ Late-night cocoa drinkers spotted something suspicious — a group of elves meeting after hours in the wrapping room. They call themselves The Silent Sleigh Society. No one knows their agenda, but rumor says… it’s petty.