The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — christmas sweaters

💍 EXCERPT (for Shopify preview):
The girl who unmatched him 47 times on Mistletoe & Mayhem just re-matched every chat and said YES.  
Ring pic + “Church. Saturday. 2pm.” crashed the servers.  
Nutcracker DJing, Gingerbread Ex protesting, Petty Elf live-tweeting the chaos.  
North Pole’s pettiest wedding drops THIS SATURDAY.

🧸 Love may be blind, but apparently it’s also wooden. The infamous “Nutcracker Situation” has returned — and this time, our unlucky elf says she’s “trying to fix him.” We all know how that ends.

🦌 It was supposed to be a romantic moonlit sleigh ride. Instead, one elf jumped mid-flight, another cried into a thermos of cocoa, and now “ghosting” has a whole new meaning at the North Pole.

☕ Pep and Sparkles’ first date was supposed to be sweet — instead, it ended with smoke, screaming, and a full-scale cocoa evacuation. The moral of the story? Never mix open flames with whipped cream and emotional baggage.

💋 The North Pole dating app is back online — and it’s worse than ever. Between cocoa-spill breakups, sleigh-ride ghosting, and one elf who accidentally dated a nutcracker again, it’s safe to say love is not in the forecast.