⭐ Day 76 — The Quest for the Lost Stuffing

At sunrise, the bachelor squad set off on the Toy King’s “noble quest” to recover his missing stuffing. None of them were emotionally prepared. Half of them weren’t even physically prepared. All of them should’ve stayed in bed. 🧸⚔️

But destiny (and glitter glue) waits for no one.

🗺️ The Journey Begins

The map King Scrufferton provided was drawn entirely in crayon. The directions included phrases like:

“Turn left at the regretful jackrabbit.”
“Follow the sound of distant bickering.”
“If you see the Swamp of Sad Glitter, you’ve gone too far emotionally.”

Not helpful, Your Majesty.

🐒 Shortstack vs. the Wind-Up Monkey

Deep in the Glitter Swamps, the group encountered a tribe of wind-up monkeys guarding a mossy pile of stuffing.

Shortstack, armed with nothing but confidence and a candy cane, charged in first.

He lasted three seconds. The monkey screeched. Shortstack screamed louder. Finn had to rescue him by politely asking the monkey if it needed a time-out.

It did. It absolutely did.

🧊 Finn Gets Sentimental

While searching for the stuffing, Frostbite Finn paused to stare dramatically at the sparkling swamp water.

He whispered, “Marriage changes a man…”

Glitterbeard replied, “So does a near-death monkey experience.”

Finn nodded like this was profound wisdom. It was not.

✨ Glitterbeard Wants to Stay Forever

At one point, Glitterbeard wandered off and was found lounging on a rock throne surrounded by adoring Misfit Toys.

They chanted his name like he was a pop star at a toy convention. One handed him a tiny glitter crown.

He declared, “Maybe this is where I belong.”

The others dragged him away before he abdicated his real-life responsibilities.

🧵 The Stuffing Is Found

Finally, behind a mossy stump shaped like a disappointed snowman, they found it:

King Scrufferton’s Sacred Fluff of Destiny.

Glowing softly. Slightly crunchy. Suspiciously warm.

Shortstack refused to touch it. Finn bravely used a leaf.

Stuffing secured. Quest completed. Chaos guaranteed.

Tomorrow, Sparkles rewrites her wedding vows in a flurry of emotions and passive aggression. ⭐✨

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Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝‍♀️