💅 Day 62 — Elf Bridesmaid Auditions (and Breakdowns)

Nineteen days until the wedding, and the bridesmaid selection process has turned into a full-blown reality show. 🎀💄

Sparkles decided to hold “open auditions” for her bridesmaids. Bad idea. Within minutes, the North Pole looked like the set of *Elf’s Next Top Model.* The requirements? Tinsel coordination, emotional stability, and “minimal cocoa bloat.” Chaos commenced.

🎁 Audition Round One – The Talent Portion

Each contestant had to wrap a present in under a minute while smiling through tears. One elf cried so hard her glitter ran into the tape dispenser. Another tried to impress Sparkles by singing a ballad about loyalty and gift tags. She was disqualified for being “too on key.”

👗 Wardrobe Malfunctions and Mental Breakdowns

Half the contestants showed up wearing different shades of green and immediately formed factions. The “Emerald Elves” refused to speak to the “Mint Majesties.” HR had to step in after someone threatened to hot-glue a sash onto another elf.

🎅 Santa’s Perspective

Santa tried to mediate by offering everyone hot cocoa and calming words. Unfortunately, he used the same mug that said “World’s Best Man.” Sparkles has been in makeup therapy ever since.

Nineteen days to go, and if this is how the auditions went, the actual wedding party might require hazard pay. 💍✨

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Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝‍♀️