The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — christmas sweaters

🎁 Someone mixed up Santa’s final shipment tags, and now chaos reigns supreme. A toolbox went to a toddler, a dollhouse to a construction site, and one elf swears his Amazon order was rerouted to “The Naughty Department.

🍪 Mrs. Claus finally snapped. After weeks of chaos, she’s weaponized the kitchen — debuting her “Revenge Cookies (Limited Edition).” Rumor says they’re sprinkled with regret … and just a hint of justice.

💌 Someone leaked the anonymous “Dear Santa” inbox — and it’s pure chaos. Turns out, half the elves have been using it as a confessional. The other half? As a complaint line. Santa’s lawyers are on eggnog-level alert.

🧣 What was supposed to be a “wholesome holiday showcase” turned into a full-blown runway meltdown. Feathers flew, sequins scattered, and one elf walked out in tears because someone called her sweater “emotionally cluttered.

☃️ Frosty lawyered up — again. Apparently, the elves used his likeness for “limited edition slush mugs” without his consent. He’s suing for emotional distress and the return of his hat. Honestly? I’d sue too.