🧸 Day 58 — The Nutcracker Situation

She swore she wouldn’t go back — and yet here we are. 💅🎁

The elf who famously matched with a nutcracker on *Mistletoe & Mayhem* is trending again after posting, “Sometimes love just needs a second season.” Everyone else is saying: “Girl, it’s giving sequel nobody asked for.”

🎄 Round Two Begins

They were spotted last night at the Snowflake Lounge, sipping cocoa martinis and arguing about emotional availability. He sat there — stoic, unmoving, and literally wooden. She said, “He’s just guarded.” Bestie, he’s carved from oak.

🪵 Therapy or Carpentry?

Sources close to the situation say she’s “trying to soften him.” She bought a relationship book called *“Sanding Down the Walls Between Us.”* Meanwhile, he hasn’t blinked since December 2019. Someone call a carpenter — or a therapist.

💬 The Plot Twist

Late last night, a mysterious profile appeared on *Mistletoe & Mayhem* named **“ToyWithTrustIssues.”** HR says it’s “probably a bug.” I say the Nutcracker just made an account. And if that’s true, we may have just opened the door to **The Land of Petty Misfits.** 👀

Love may conquer all, but wood glue and delusion are a close second. If this ends in splinters, don’t say I didn’t warn you. 🧸💔

---

Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝‍♀️