The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — shopify

Today the bachelor squad finally tries to leave the Misfit Realm—but the realm has other plans. The portal spits them out repeatedly like expired candy, the toys offer zero help, and Glitterbeard refuses to take the hint.

🧸 Love may be blind, but apparently it’s also wooden. The infamous “Nutcracker Situation” has returned — and this time, our unlucky elf says she’s “trying to fix him.” We all know how that ends.

💌 Someone leaked the anonymous “Dear Santa” inbox — and it’s pure chaos. Turns out, half the elves have been using it as a confessional. The other half? As a complaint line. Santa’s lawyers are on eggnog-level alert.