💍 Day 60 — The 47-Unmatch Girl Just Said YES

Grab your cocoa, babies. The North Pole is about to have its messiest wedding EVER. 👀❄️

@FrostyFeelings427 (yes, the one who unmatched that human 47 times on Mistletoe & Mayhem) just re-matched every single chat and sent him a ring pic that crashed the entire app.

📲 The message that ended dignity

Screenshot leaked at 2:13 AM: “Fine. You win, asshole.” + photo of her hand wearing the exact ring he sent on Day 14 + final line: “Church. Saturday. 2pm.”

💒 Wedding of the century drops THIS SATURDAY

Location: Igloo Chapel (ice pews, zero warmth) Dress code: ugly Christmas sweaters or get roasted in my next post Confirmed guests: • Nutcracker (plus emotional baggage) • Gingerbread Ex (protesting in the parking lot) • ToyWithTrustIssues on the decks This isn’t a ceremony, it’s the season finale of North Pole Bachelor.

🧸 Petty Elf’s hot take

I’ve been documenting this train wreck for 60 days. She called him “human traffic cone.” He called her “my future ex-wife” in the group chat. Now they’re getting MARRIED. Moral of the story? Never delete the chat.

I’ll be live-tweeting from the back row in my “Participation Trophy” sweater. If the vows don’t include the word “unmatch,” I’m requesting a refund on my plus-one. 🍾❄️

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Stay messy,
– The Petty Elf 🧝‍♀️