The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — Christmas Humor

🎯 The official Christmas Countdown Clock stopped this morning — and the entire North Pole collectively panicked. Productivity froze, cocoa intake doubled, and one elf tried to “reboot time” by unplugging the tree.

🍭 The Candy Cane Cartel isn’t taking the “Sweet Strike” lightly. After the elves switched to peppermint-free cocoa, the cartel clapped back with price hikes, product shortages, and one threatening note written entirely in crushed candy.

🕵️♀️ Late-night cocoa drinkers spotted something suspicious — a group of elves meeting after hours in the wrapping room. They call themselves The Silent Sleigh Society. No one knows their agenda, but rumor says… it’s petty.

🎁 Someone mixed up Santa’s final shipment tags, and now chaos reigns supreme. A toolbox went to a toddler, a dollhouse to a construction site, and one elf swears his Amazon order was rerouted to “The Naughty Department.

🍪 Mrs. Claus finally snapped. After weeks of chaos, she’s weaponized the kitchen — debuting her “Revenge Cookies (Limited Edition).” Rumor says they’re sprinkled with regret … and just a hint of justice.