The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — christmas

👗 Eighteen days until the wedding, and the North Pole fashion scene is in crisis. Sparkles said “winter chic,” and the elves heard “fight to the death in sequins.

💅 There are 19 days until the North Pole wedding, and the bridesmaid situation has gone full disaster. Tears, tinsel, and tactical glitter warfare — all before lunch.

🧸 Venue opened up → wedding moved to 19 days. Bridesmaid draft: I’m in. Sweater try-on day: 17 itchy crimes. Band: The Mistletoe Misfits (they set tambourines on fire). Send bail money.

💍 EXCERPT (for Shopify preview):
The girl who unmatched him 47 times on Mistletoe & Mayhem just re-matched every chat and said YES.  
Ring pic + “Church. Saturday. 2pm.” crashed the servers.  
Nutcracker DJing, Gingerbread Ex protesting, Petty Elf live-tweeting the chaos.  
North Pole’s pettiest wedding drops THIS SATURDAY.

🧸 Love may be blind, but apparently it’s also wooden. The infamous “Nutcracker Situation” has returned — and this time, our unlucky elf says she’s “trying to fix him.” We all know how that ends.