⭐ Day 80 — They Make It Home… Sort Of

Posted by Ruben Escalona on

The Petty Elf

The Petty Elf Daily

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⭐ Day 80 — They Make It Home… Sort Of

This morning, the Misfit Realm reached its breaking point. The sky flickered. The ground shook. The portal screamed, “ENOUGH!” in cosmic energy.

And finally—finally—it sent the bachelor squad home. If you can call what happened “home.”

🌀 The Final Ejection

The portal opened with the energy of a fed-up parent. A blast of glitter shot out. Then, one by one, the boys were YEETED through it like coupons no one wanted.

Finn hit a wreath rack. Shortstack landed in a decorative snow pile. Frostbite Jr. rolled under a table and whispered, “Is it over?”

Glitterbeard stuck the landing. Of course he did.

😨 The Witnesses

Three elves saw the whole thing and are now on mandatory peppermint therapy.

One whispered, “I saw a glowing sock puppet.” Another said, “I can’t stop smelling glitter.” The third fainted at the sight of a jack-in-the-box.

💍 Sparkles Reacts

Sparkles ran in like a holiday hurricane.

She screamed, cried, hugged Finn, punched his arm, hugged him again, threatened him softly, and announced to the room:

“THE WEDDING IS STILL HAPPENING SO EVERYONE GET IT TOGETHER!”

Finn nodded, dazed. Shortstack apologized to a lamp. No one knows why.

🎅 Santa Cancels Rehearsal

After seeing the chaos, Santa made a swift, wise executive decision:

“Rehearsal is canceled. Everyone hydrate.”

Then he quietly added, “I’ll fix this.” No one heard him except me.

🧝 The Petty Elf’s Observation

The boys came back changed. Glittery. Traumatized. Bonded in a way only interdimensional stupidity can forge.

Tomorrow is the wedding. And somehow… some way… this chaos might actually work out.

The Misfit Realm is closed. The squad is home. And the wedding is one sleep away. ⭐✨


Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝‍♀️