⭐ Day 77 — Sparkles Writes Her Wedding Vows in Rage

On this Thanksgiving Day at the North Pole, Sparkles decided it was the perfect time to write her wedding vows. She lit a cinnamon candle, brewed peppermint tea, sat down at her desk… and immediately lost emotional stability.

By noon, she had written three completely different versions — each representing a new stage of panic.

💌 Version 1 — The Loving Vows

These were soft. Sweet. Romantic.

Lines included:
• “You are my frostbitten forever.”
• “My heart jingles for you.”
• “I promise to cherish you like the last marshmallow in the cocoa jar.”

She cried while writing them. It was beautiful. It lasted 11 minutes.

🔥 Version 2 — The Threatening Vows

Then she thought about how Finn is missing. And suddenly these vows were written with the energy of a Disney villain.

Highlights include:
• “If you ever scare me like this again I WILL hex your socks.”
• “You belong to me now, emotionally AND seasonally.”
• “I promise to love you… but I also promise consequences.”

A candy cane snapped while she wrote these. She didn’t notice.

😏 Version 3 — The Petty Vows

By evening, Sparkles entered her final phase: Petty Spiritual Enlightenment.

This version included classic lines such as:
• “I forgive you for existing incorrectly sometimes.”
• “I will love you even when you make choices that are wrong and stupid.”
• “May our marriage be as strong as my urge to be right.”

She cackled while writing these. Santa closed his office door.

📜 The Final Decision

Sparkles told me she plans to “combine all three versions” during the ceremony.

I asked what that meant. She said, “It means he’s going to cry.”

Reasonable.

Tomorrow, the realm starts to glitch. The portal weakens. And the Misfit Toys begin acting… strange. ⭐✨

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Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝‍♀️