The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha

Today the bachelor squad finally tries to leave the Misfit Realm—but the realm has other plans. The portal spits them out repeatedly like expired candy, the toys offer zero help, and Glitterbeard refuses to take the hint.

Today the Misfit Realm starts to glitch. The portal flickers, the toys act strange, and the magical fabric holding everything together begins to crack. The bachelor squad thinks it’s “kinda cool.” It is not cool.

Today Sparkles sits down to write her wedding vows… and immediately spirals. What begins as a sweet, emotional promise quickly mutates into threats, petty commentary, and a third version she absolutely should NOT read aloud—but fully intends to.

dramatic mission yet: retrieving the Toy King’s lost stuffing. Shortstack nearly dies fighting a wind-up monkey, Finn gets unexpectedly sentimental, and Glitterbeard decides he might never leave the Misfit Realm.

Today the bachelor squad meets the ruler of the Misfit Realm — a regal, slightly broken plush lion named King Scrufferton III. He’s dramatic, unstable, and assigns them a “noble quest” involving his missing stuffing.