The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — Santa Claus

☃️ Frosty lawyered up — again. Apparently, the elves used his likeness for “limited edition slush mugs” without his consent. He’s suing for emotional distress and the return of his hat. Honestly? I’d sue too.

🎁 What started as a wholesome office tradition turned into a North Pole HR nightmare. Someone “accidentally” gifted Santa a stress ball that says ‘Do Less, Delegate More.’ Let’s just say… investigations are underway.

🦌 The reindeer called it “self-care.” Santa called it “embezzlement.” Either way, the North Pole’s furriest divas just charged a full spa day to the sleigh maintenance budget — and the elves are not having it.

🔥 The “safety drill” turned into a full-blown emergency when elves mistook smoke for s’mores. No one burned — except our pride (and one tinsel cart).

  The Petty Elf Daily North Pole’s #1 Source for Petty News • Daily Dispatch 🎄 Day 33 — The Candy Corn Conspiracy (Fall Flashback Files) Breaking from my usual Christmas coverage for a *flashback exposé.* 🍂👀 If the truth ever comes out, the chaos of candy season didn’t start in December — it started way back in October, a few weeks ago when the elves discovered *Candy Corn.* And everything went downhill from there. 🍬 The Great Divide Half the workshop said candy corn was “iconic.” The other half said it was “sugar-flavored wax.” HR had to separate teams...