The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — Holiday Blog

Today the first official representative of the Holiday Alliance arrives at the North Pole: Cupid himself. Elegant, glowing, and clearly used to being the most important person in any room, he’s here to “inspect our emotional infrastructure.” Sparkles is impressed, Finn is overwhelmed, and I’m just trying not to roll my eyes into another dimension.

Today Santa held a private meeting in the Restricted Wing—except the people leaving the room afterward were definitely not from the North Pole. Sparkles is confused, Finn is curious, and I… I know something big is brewing, and it smells like cross-holiday magic.

💘 The North Pole just launched its first official dating app — “Mistletoe & Mayhem.” Within an hour, HR panicked, Santa threatened to delete the internet, and one elf matched with a toy that shouldn’t even be sentient.

🎁 What started as a wholesome office tradition turned into a North Pole HR nightmare. Someone “accidentally” gifted Santa a stress ball that says ‘Do Less, Delegate More.’ Let’s just say… investigations are underway.

The Petty Elf Daily North Pole’s #1 Source for Petty News • Daily Dispatch 🎄 Day 32 — Santa’s PR Crisis Santa’s trending again… and not for good reasons. 📉🎅 Someone leaked footage of him falling asleep during the annual Toy Inspection Gala. Twitter (or “Twinkle,” as we call it here) is calling it *“Snoregate.”* 🎥 The Viral Clip The video’s already hit 2 million views. He’s mid-snore, cocoa dribble and all, while Mrs. Claus politely smiles beside him like she’s reconsidering every life choice. 🧝 Damage Control The PR elves are in meltdown mode. They released a statement saying,...