The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — Northpole

Today the North Pole got its first look at the incoming Holiday Representatives. Cupid held interviews like a celestial HR manager, the Easter Bunny arrived trembling with his magical basket, and Jack Marrow… well, he made an entrance that nearly set the workshop on fire. Oh, and Stupid failed orientation before it even began.

Today Santa held a private meeting in the Restricted Wing—except the people leaving the room afterward were definitely not from the North Pole. Sparkles is confused, Finn is curious, and I… I know something big is brewing, and it smells like cross-holiday magic.

The bachelor squad spends their first night in the Land of Petty Misfit Toys… and it immediately goes off the rails. Glitterbeard befriends a deranged Jack-in-the-Box, and Frostbite Jr. almost joins a cult with questionable snack policies.

👀 Fourteen days until the wedding, and Sparkles has entered detective mode. The groomsmen are acting weird, the groom keeps “running errands,” and something about peppermint schnapps whispers betrayal.

🤵♂️ Fifteen days until the wedding, and the groom’s side has officially embarrassed itself. The groomsmen attempted “training camp” today — and by the end, one reindeer resigned and two elves sprained their feelings.