The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — christmas
🎄 Day 35 – The Reindeer Spa Day Scandal
Posted by Ruben Escalona on
🦌 The reindeer called it “self-care.” Santa called it “embezzlement.” Either way, the North Pole’s furriest divas just charged a full spa day to the sleigh maintenance budget — and the elves are not having it.
🎄 Day 34 – Workshop Fire Drill Fiasco
Posted by Ruben Escalona on
🔥 The “safety drill” turned into a full-blown emergency when elves mistook smoke for s’mores. No one burned — except our pride (and one tinsel cart).
🎄 Day 33 – The Candy Corn Conspiracy (Fall Flashback Files
Posted by Ruben Escalona on
The Petty Elf Daily North Pole’s #1 Source for Petty News • Daily Dispatch 🎄 Day 33 — The Candy Corn Conspiracy (Fall Flashback Files) Breaking from my usual Christmas coverage for a *flashback exposé.* 🍂👀 If the truth ever comes out, the chaos of candy season didn’t start in December — it started way back in October, a few weeks ago when the elves discovered *Candy Corn.* And everything went downhill from there. 🍬 The Great Divide Half the workshop said candy corn was “iconic.” The other half said it was “sugar-flavored wax.” HR had to separate teams...
🎄 Day 32 – Santa’s PR Crisis
Posted by Ruben Escalona on
The Petty Elf Daily North Pole’s #1 Source for Petty News • Daily Dispatch 🎄 Day 32 — Santa’s PR Crisis Santa’s trending again… and not for good reasons. 📉🎅 Someone leaked footage of him falling asleep during the annual Toy Inspection Gala. Twitter (or “Twinkle,” as we call it here) is calling it *“Snoregate.”* 🎥 The Viral Clip The video’s already hit 2 million views. He’s mid-snore, cocoa dribble and all, while Mrs. Claus politely smiles beside him like she’s reconsidering every life choice. 🧝 Damage Control The PR elves are in meltdown mode. They released a statement saying,...
🎄 Day 31 – Elf New Year’s Resolutions (That Won’t Last)
Posted by Ruben Escalona on
The Petty Elf Daily North Pole’s #1 Source for Petty News • Daily Dispatch 🎄 Day 31 — Elf New Year’s Resolutions (That Won’t Last) It’s that magical time again — when elves make promises they’ll forget by mid-January. 📝✨ The annual Resolution Board just went up in the breakroom, and it’s already a masterclass in delusion and denial. 🏋️ “I’ll Stop Eating So Many Cookies” Said by the same elf who has frosting under both thumbs *right now.* The cookie jar in the lounge audibly laughed. 💻 “No More Gossip During Work Hours” We tried this one last year....