The Petty Elf Daily
North Pole’s #1 Source for Petty News • Daily Dispatch
🦌 Day 47 — Reindeer Refuse to Work Past 5 PM
The Reindeer Union just drew a line in the snow. 🕔❄️
Effective immediately, no flights, sleigh drills, or toy-drop test runs after 5 PM. The herd says “the grind stops when the cocoa clock chimes.” And honestly? Same.
📋 The Demands
Their list includes “mandatory stretch breaks,” “better hay benefits,” and “Spotify Premium during flights.” Prancer even added “Therapeutic jingling allowance.” Santa’s still figuring out what that means.
🎅 Santa’s Reaction
Santa tried to appeal to their “Christmas spirit.” Blitzen said, “My spirit clocks out at 4:59.” Negotiations ended when Rudolph turned off his nose light and said, “Meeting’s over.”
💼 HR’s New Policy
HR released a statement titled *“Healthy Hooves, Happy Holidays.”* They’re introducing “flex flight scheduling,” which apparently means “Santa delivers the rest himself.” The elves are *thrilled.*
Bottom line: no one’s flying tired this year. Deliveries might be late, but morale’s never been higher — and neither has Santa’s blood pressure. 🦌☕
Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝♀️