The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — Ugly Sweater 2025

Today the Petty Elf reopens the portal to check on the missing bachelor squad… and instantly regrets it. The boys aren’t struggling — they’re thriving. Glitterbeard is basically a local celebrity, Finn has formed a questionable alliance, and the Misfit Realm might be changing them.

Today, the Misfit Toys put the bachelor squad through a series of “trials” to earn information… and dignity. Tasks include arm-wrestling an angry teddy bear, navigating the Goblin Sock Puppet Maze, and resisting peer pressure from shot-glass elves. They fail. Repeatedly.

Sparkles has officially run out of patience. Today she launches a “highly organized” search party for the missing groom and his bachelor squad… which mostly involves crying, yelling, and scaring volunteers. Santa, wisely, pretends to be very, very busy.

The bachelor squad spends their first night in the Land of Petty Misfit Toys… and it immediately goes off the rails. Glitterbeard befriends a deranged Jack-in-the-Box, and Frostbite Jr. almost joins a cult with questionable snack policies.

✨ The portal opens… and the bachelor party lands in the most chaotic, rule-breaking realm in the North Pole multiverse: The Land of Petty Misfit Toys. Hope they packed emotional support candy canes.