The Petty Elf Daily | North Pole Gossip Blog by Red Alpha — Selfie T-shirt

Today the first official representative of the Holiday Alliance arrives at the North Pole: Cupid himself. Elegant, glowing, and clearly used to being the most important person in any room, he’s here to “inspect our emotional infrastructure.” Sparkles is impressed, Finn is overwhelmed, and I’m just trying not to roll my eyes into another dimension.

👀 Fourteen days until the wedding, and Sparkles has entered detective mode. The groomsmen are acting weird, the groom keeps “running errands,” and something about peppermint schnapps whispers betrayal.

🎯 The official Christmas Countdown Clock stopped this morning — and the entire North Pole collectively panicked. Productivity froze, cocoa intake doubled, and one elf tried to “reboot time” by unplugging the tree.