🧭 Day 68 — The Bachelor Party Vanishes

Thirteen days until the wedding, and Sparkles woke up to one horrifying notification: “The groom is unavailable.” 💅😱

Frostbite Finn and his entire groomsmen squad — Spruce, Shortstack, Glitterbeard, and Frostbite Jr. — have mysteriously disappeared. No sleigh tracks. No reindeer reports. The only clues?
• A half-eaten candy cane
• A map with the words “TRUST NO ONE” scribbled on it
• And a suspiciously cheerful voicemail from Glitterbeard saying, “If anyone asks, we’re studying.”

🧝 Sparkles Reacts

She asked around calmly for five minutes. Then she panicked violently for thirty minutes. Then she tried calm again, but with tears and threats.

She stormed into the workshop yelling, “IF MY GROOM GOT LOST IN A SNOWBANK BEFORE OUR WEDDING I SWEAR—” Santa hid behind the wreath rack.

🕵️ The Petty Elf Investigates

I followed the glitter trail (never fails). It led to a clearing behind the Workshop where I found:
✔ Sleigh marks in a perfect circle
✔ A dropped bachelor sash reading “Groom Patrol”
✔ And a swirling magical residue that the Misfit Department would call “interdimensional leakage.”

Translation: The boys opened a portal. A big one.

🧸 I Know EXACTLY Where They Went

Spruce accidentally told me the truth last night while under the influence of peppermint schnapps and poor judgment.

The bachelor party destination is:
⭐ The Land of Petty Misfit Toys ⭐ A realm known for:
• broken toys
• broken rules
• and broken self-respect

The perfect bachelor party spot… if you have no survival instincts.

Thirteen days left, and the groom’s party has dimension-hopped into chaos. Sparkles has NO idea where they are. I’m not telling her. Not yet. Because this? This is going to be good. 🧭✨

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Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝‍♀️