The Petty Elf Daily
North Pole’s #1 Source for Petty News • Daily Dispatch
🍪 Day 41 — Mrs. Claus’ Revenge Cookies (Limited Edition)
Mrs. Claus is done playing nice — and she’s baking with intent. 🔥🍪
After weeks of elf gossip and Santa’s PR disasters, she’s released a new cookie line she calls *“Revenge Cookies (Limited Edition).”* They’re selling faster than apologies at Elf HR.
💋 The Flavor Profile of Payback
Chocolate chip base with a dash of cinnamon and a whisper of vengeance. She claims each batch was “inspired by real events.” Translation: if you’ve crossed her this month, you might taste like salt.
🧑🍳 Elves as Taste Testers
Jingles took one bite and started apologizing for things he didn’t even do. Sparkles said it tasted like “closure and fear.” Pep ate three and called his mom. Therapeutic baking works, apparently.
🎅 Santa’s Official Statement
“We fully support Mrs. Claus’ creative outlet,” he said through gritted teeth, holding a half-eaten cookie. Then he whispered, “These have nutmeg and resentment.”
Boxes are flying off the shelves, and Mrs. Claus just filed a trademark for ‘Emotional Bakery Therapy.’ Honestly? Brand queen behavior. 🍪👑
Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝♀️