The Petty Elf Daily
North Pole’s #1 Source for Petty News • Daily Dispatch
🎄 Day 32 — Santa’s PR Crisis
Santa’s trending again… and not for good reasons. 📉🎅
Someone leaked footage of him falling asleep during the annual Toy Inspection Gala. Twitter (or “Twinkle,” as we call it here) is calling it *“Snoregate.”*
🎥 The Viral Clip
The video’s already hit 2 million views. He’s mid-snore, cocoa dribble and all, while Mrs. Claus politely smiles beside him like she’s reconsidering every life choice.
🧝 Damage Control
The PR elves are in meltdown mode. They released a statement saying, “Santa was resting his eyes.” Classic. That line hasn’t worked since last year’s cookie overdose incident.
📢 Public Reaction
Half the comments are supportive (“He works hard!”), and the other half are memes titled *‘When Q4 Hits Different.’* Even the Easter Bunny weighed in with a laughing emoji. Petty. I respect it.
Rumor has it, Santa’s hiring a “reputation manager.” If they’re smart, they’ll call me. I’ve been managing *my own scandals* since Day 1.
Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝♀️