The Petty Elf Daily
North Pole’s #1 Source for Petty News • Daily Dispatch
🎄 Day 13 — Elf Secret Santa Scandal
Secret Santa was supposed to be “fun and wholesome.” Naturally, it turned into chaos and accusations.
Because nothing screams holiday cheer like passive-aggressive gift giving and a $5 spending limit no one respects. 🎁
💸 The Overspend Offender
Sparkles gave a gold-plated cocoa mug. The limit was five bucks, not fifty. Now everyone else looks cheap and Sparkles looks like she’s running for Elf of the Year.
🎁 The Re-Gifter
Pep unwrapped a candle labeled “To: Jingles, From: Grandma.” Bold of him to pretend it was thoughtful. Even bolder to pretend he likes “Lavender Hayride.”
🔍 The Guessing Game
Half the fun is guessing who your Santa was, except everyone immediately spilled. Subtlety is not an elf strong suit. Timber literally signed his gift “From, Timber.”
In conclusion: nobody stuck to the budget, everybody’s feelings got hurt, and I walked away with socks that say “Petty But Festive.” Okay fine, I love them.
Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝♀️