🎄 Day 8 — Santa’s Starbucks Addiction

Breaking: Santa ditched Mrs. Claus’s cookies for peppermint lattes. ☕

Yep, the big guy is BASIC. The elves are whispering, Mrs. Claus is fuming, and I’m just here sipping my nonfat cocoa watching the drama unfold.

☕ Red Cup Season

He even uses mobile order pickup so no one spots him in line. Like we wouldn’t notice the jingle bells in his beard.

🎅 Secret Menu Obsessed

His current order? A “Triple Peppermint Swirl Mocha Crunch with extra whip.” That’s not festive, that’s a dental crisis waiting to happen.

🍪 Mrs. Claus Strikes Back

She replaced his travel mug with one that says “Support Local Cocoa.” Petty recognizes petty—and I respect it.

So if Santa looks extra jittery during the parade this year, blame Starbucks… not the elves.

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Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝‍♀️