The Petty Elf Daily
North Pole’s #1 Source for Petty News • Daily Dispatch
🗂️ Day 52 — HR Orientation Scandal
Day two of new elf orientation, and chaos has already found the PowerPoint. 💻🔥
HR’s “Welcome to the Workshop” presentation accidentally played *last year’s Naughty List* slideshow instead of the onboarding video. Names, photos, and offenses — all in 4K. Let’s just say lunch was awkward.
📋 The Great Exposure
It started with a cheerful title slide: “We’re So Glad You’re Here!” Then suddenly: *“Pep — misuse of glue gun privileges.”* By slide three, HR had unplugged the projector and faked a fire drill. Damage: done.
💬 The Workshop Reacts
The old elves are calling it “the best team-building exercise ever.” The newbies are traumatized. Someone started a betting pool on who’ll land on this year’s updated list first. I’m not saying I joined… but I’m not saying I didn’t.
🎅 Santa’s Official Response
Santa held a press conference titled “We All Make Mistakes.” Meanwhile, Mrs. Claus was overheard saying, “At least it wasn’t *my* browser history.” The elves laughed. HR did not.
The North Pole’s trust in HR is at an all-time low, morale is weirdly high, and someone updated the orientation handbook to include a new rule: “Never trust a slideshow named *final_version_3_REAL_this_time.pptx*.” 📎💀
Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝♀️