🧷 Day 51 — New Elves, New Problems

Santa wanted “fresh energy.” What he got was chaos in jingling form. 🎅💥

Hundreds of rookie elves arrived today for orientation. Within ten minutes, one set off the toy-testing alarm, another accidentally super-glued their mittens together, and someone asked if reindeer have Wi-Fi.

📋 Orientation or Ordeal?

The training video is from 1997 and still refers to “faxing Santa.” Half the class left to find the fax machine. There is none. Morale: questionable. Glitter: everywhere.

🍭 Departmental Drama

Toy Assembly is complaining about “unskilled hands.” Wrapping says the newbies “fold like they panic.” One rookie tried to use duct tape on a gift box. They called it “industrial chic.” HR called it “grounds for retraining.”

🎅 Management’s Response

Santa says he’s “excited to mentor the next generation.” Mrs. Claus was seen Googling “early retirement in Lapland.” I’m just counting down until someone files the first official ‘glue-gun injury’ report.

The new elves bring enthusiasm, chaos, and a collective lack of fine-motor skills. Welcome to the North Pole, kids — may your cocoa be strong and your training short. ☕🧝‍♀️

---

Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝‍♀️