The Petty Elf Daily

North Pole’s #1 Source for Petty News • Daily Dispatch

🎃 Day 50 — Once Halloween Ends, Christmas Panic Begins

One minute we were carving pumpkins, the next minute we’re carving deadlines. 🎃➡️🎄

At midnight, the North Pole officially flipped the switch from spooky to sparkly. The bats barely cleared the sky before the Christmas bells started ringing — and HR started hyperventilating.

🧝♀️ The Hiring Frenzy Begins

Santa just announced they’ll need 300 more elves “by end of week.” Recruitment posted flyers that say *“No Experience Needed — Just Energy and Trauma Resilience.”* If you breathe glitter, you’re hired.

🍬 Candy Corn Out, Candy Canes In

The seasonal snack swap happened at 12:01 a.m. sharp. Half the elves are still in costume, running on leftover sugar and denial. Pep came dressed as “Burnout.” No one questioned it.

🎅 Santa’s Motivational Speech

Santa gathered everyone for what he called a “Pre-Holiday Pep Talk.” It was mostly him yelling, “This is not a drill!” Someone fainted. HR called it a “spirit realignment.” I call it Tuesday.

The cobwebs are down, the stress levels are up, and the North Pole is officially entering its most dramatic season yet. Let the countdown — and the caffeine — begin. ☕🎄

Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝♀️