🍭 Day 44 — Candy Cane Cartel Retaliation

The Candy Cane Cartel has officially declared war — on *everyone.* 🎯

After the elves voted to reduce peppermint usage (for “dental morale reasons”), the Cartel retaliated overnight. We woke up to sugar shortages, sticky floors, and a ransom note taped to the cocoa machine.

📜 The Candy Ultimatum

The note, written in red and white frosting, read: *“No peppermint, no presents.”* It was signed with a swirl. No names, no fingerprints — just the faint smell of menace and mint.

🧂 The Great Sweet Shortage

The workshop bakery is down to three candy canes and one questionable lollipop. Mrs. Claus is rationing sprinkles, and the Elves’ Cocoa Union is threatening to strike. “You can’t spell morale without sugar,” Pep shouted. Accurate.

🎅 Santa’s Negotiation Attempt

Santa tried to calm tensions by offering “fair trade cocoa beans” and “ethical sweeteners.” The Cartel responded with a drive-by caramel drizzle. Mrs. Claus ducked; the interns didn’t. It got messy — literally.

As of this morning, peppermint prices are up 400%, and morale is down 1,000%. If this keeps up, we’ll be paying rent in candy canes and trauma. 🍬

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Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝‍♀️