The Petty Elf Daily
North Pole’s #1 Source for Petty News • Daily Dispatch
🎁 Day 42 — The Great Present Mix-Up of 2025
Christmas logistics have officially collapsed. 📦💥
The Workshop’s labeling system glitched last night, sending thousands of presents to the wrong destinations. Elves are calling it “Deliverygate.” Santa’s calling it “a minor hiccup.” Sure, Jan.
🚚 The Misdelivery Mayhem
Reports say a power drill ended up in a preschool, and a singing unicorn toy got delivered to a lumberyard. The elves in charge of Quality Control are now in “voluntary reindeer transport training.” Translation: demoted.
📱 The Data Disaster
IT blames a “barcode syncing error.” Pep blames “Mercury in retrograde.” I blame whoever decided to outsource the Naughty List database to Candy Cloud Storage. You just *know* that’s not encrypted.
🎅 Santa’s Spin
Santa held a press conference and said, “Every gift finds its true home eventually.” Yeah, tell that to the kid who got a socket wrench set instead of a skateboard.
The cleanup team says they’ll “fix it by Friday.” That’s cute — they said the same thing about the tinsel incident. At this point, I’m just wrapping snacks and calling it a day. 🎀
Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝♀️