🎄 Day 12 — Holiday Party Survival Guide (From Someone Who’s Over It)

If you’re headed to a holiday party and your spirit is 80% cocoa, 20% tolerance—this one’s for you.

I’ve survived more North Pole office parties than Santa has belts. Here’s how to glide in, look festive, and avoid elf small talk like a pro. 🧊

🧣 Dress Code: Cozy But Petty

Wear something warm enough to outlast the “one quick toast” that turns into a four-hour speech, but spicy enough to remind everyone you have taste. Subtle sparkle. Loud shade.

🍸 The Social Triangle

Position yourself between the cocoa bar, the cookie tray, and the exit. That way you’re either sipping, snacking, or “so sorry I’ve got to run an errand”—and by errand I mean home.

🎁 Gift Swap Strategy

Re-gift something iconic, like a candle named “Silent Night, Chaotic Elf.” If you get stuck with a fruitcake, congratulate yourself on the new doorstop.

🔔 Conversation Escape Lines

• “I promised HR I’d check the marshmallow inventory.”
• “I’m due at the sleigh for a quick maintenance vibe check.”
• “Oh look—karaoke. I must leave immediately.”

Remember: arrive fashionably late, leave mysteriously early, and sparkle just enough that people ask where you got your sweater. (You know what to tell them.)

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Stay shady,
– The Petty Elf 🧝‍♀️