The People Who Frustrate You May Be the People You Need Most
One thing I've noticed...
The people who frustrate me the most often reveal something about me.
Sometimes they reveal my impatience.
Sometimes they reveal my pride.
Sometimes they simply reveal that I expected everyone to think the way I do.
In The Seven Frequencies, Erwin McManus explores the idea that every personality brings unique strengths and unique challenges.
That idea has stayed with me because the longer I lead a business, build relationships, and have conversations with people...
The more I see it playing out in real life.
People aren't wired the same.
And maybe that's exactly how God intended it.
If everyone around me thinks like I do...
Who's going to ask the question I forgot to ask?
Who's going to slow me down when I'm moving too fast?
Who's going to dream bigger when I'm playing it safe?
Who's going to challenge an idea before it becomes an expensive mistake?
Yesterday we talked about how every strength has a shadow.
Today I've been thinking about the other side of that idea.
Sometimes someone else's strength helps expose my shadow.
The planner may frustrate the visionary by asking for more details.
But those details may protect the vision.
The challenger may frustrate the encourager by asking a difficult question.
But that question may keep the team honest.
The peacemaker may frustrate the person who wants to confront every issue immediately.
But their calm may keep a disagreement from becoming a broken relationship.
The visionary may frustrate the person who prefers certainty.
But their imagination may help everyone see a possibility they would have otherwise missed.
None of this means every difficult relationship is healthy.
Disrespect is still disrespect.
Dishonesty is still dishonesty.
Harmful behavior should not be excused simply because someone has a different personality.
But discomfort and dysfunction are not always the same thing.
Sometimes a person makes us uncomfortable because they are helping us see something we would rather ignore.
I've realized that the personalities that stretch us are often the personalities that strengthen us.
Not because they're always right.
And not because we're always wrong.
But because they help us see what we couldn't see alone.
Every person has a story worth hearing.
Every personality has something worth teaching.
Healthy communities aren't built by collecting people who make us comfortable.
They're built by learning how to value people who help us become better.
Maybe the person who frustrates you isn't automatically someone you should avoid.
Maybe they're revealing a blind spot.
Maybe they're bringing a strength you don't naturally possess.
Or maybe they're simply inviting you to see the world through someone else's eyes.
Before dismissing them, it may be worth asking what their presence is teaching you.
— Ruben Escalona
Red Alpha Custom Prints
What Healthy Actually Looks Like
Healthy people don't surround themselves only with people who agree with them. They make room for personalities that challenge their assumptions, balance their weaknesses, and help them see what they cannot see by themselves.
The goal isn't to tolerate unhealthy behavior. It's to learn the difference between someone who is harmful and someone who is simply different. One should be handled with boundaries. The other may be carrying a strength you need.